He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Why is there bacon in the couch?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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