You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
