I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This is the high leading the old right now
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
