Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
