If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize