Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
