apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I love you. Go after that dick
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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