Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
