the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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