um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
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