super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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