You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
