She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
