If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
