Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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