you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just want to make out with him forever
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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