My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
