there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
