I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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