ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
