yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
