We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
