Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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