you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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