Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
