capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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