i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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