i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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