You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
