Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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