I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
