I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
