the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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