Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.

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(517): View more from Michigan

and trust me i need no booty pop lessons

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(540): View more from Virginia

I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

i must have dtf stamped on my forehead

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(573): View more from Missouri

Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

i cant cry in cvs. not again.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.

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(707): View more from California

Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!

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