Can Purell be used as lube?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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