; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
