can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
