My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
