i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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