I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She announced her abortion via fbk
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
