Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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