I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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