the condom got lost in my hair
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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