So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize