so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
