I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize