I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
