is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
