i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
