good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
