what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You pole danced in your parka.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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