Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
