i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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