bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
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