You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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