Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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