I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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