after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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