is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
