Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
