Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
