Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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